Saturday, September 13, 2008

What do you do in a storm?

We live in an area where hurricanes are normal- to the degree that we refer to the period between June and November as hurricane season. This year we've had a rather active season, in that we've seen Fay and Hanna and most recently, Ike create havoc and hardship. You're probably asking, "where is she going with this"? Well, my dears. I've learned that life is constantly teaching us lessons, if we would just observe, listen, and learn from it. Let's see what life has to say about the storms.

First, We’ve learned to expect storms. We know that every year there is the possibility that they could come.
Secondly, Storms come in varying degrees of intensity.
Next, There are usually signs. The weather bureau has the capability to track certain patterns and predict the outcome.
And lastly, We are always advised to prepare for them.

So it is with relationships. In our marriages or other relationships, we should not be so naive as to think that every day will be sunny and rosey. We are not going to "feel" in love everyday. Feelings are fickle, and therefore, your relationship can not be based on feelings or emotions. Additionally, life won't allow you to get from start to finish without some obstacles, some disappointments, and some hurts. So, expect them! Just like the hurricanes, don't let them catch you off guard.

The next point it vital, so take note. Hurricanes are categorized by their intensity. A category 5 storm is of greater strength, velocity, speed, etc, than a category 1. In your relationships, please determine whether the issue at hand is worth evacuation. Many of us are leaving (giving up, walking away, quitting) over things that are just not worth it. We often make a big deal over matters which could have been ignored. As with hurricanes, many times things begin as,(appear to be)a big deal, but quickly are downsized to a tropical depression- not even in the category of a hurricane.

Do you get my point? Let's pick our battles, and stop jumping out of the boat (i.e, relationship)over inconsequential, non-essential, irrelavant matters.

Be watchful. Rarely, if ever, do serious problems develop in our relationships without some prior signs of trouble. We're just usually not paying attention. Maybe that's the key: pay attention to the person that you care about. If they are worth being in a meaningful relationship with, then they are worth careful observation.

Now, my last peice of Mama E advice: PREPARE FOR THE STORM. Invest in the relationship. Read. Listen. Learn. Good relationships don't just happen, they are developed. You must want it enough to put time, energy, and resources into making it great.

Gotta go for now.

But Don't forget- our live recording of the Legacy Tour is coming soon- Music, Drama, and the wisdom of Mama E! You don't want to miss it.

I love you all,
Mama E

PS - Register and Vote. You owe it to yourself and your future.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Legacy vs Destiny

Hi Everybody,

I owe you a big apology for not staying in touch! By way of explanation, (as opposed to an excuse), things have been extremely busy. I've been writing, training, and lecturing more than ever, and even though nothing makes me feel more fulfilled, it has been a little exhausting. One of my weaknesses is that I tend to overestimate my time and abilities. I know my capabilities, (what I'm capable of doing), but I forget that I only have the alloted 24 hours in which to do them. Being a superwoman is not all that it's cracked up to be. LOL

In any event, I had a wonderful experience recently;I was honored to address our family's 41st reunion. We get together for a weekend, every other year, and I've come to really value the time spent with my aunties, uncles, cousins, neices & nephews, etc. I look forward to seeing the new babies, meeting the new spouses who have joined our ranks, and even lamenting the lost of loved ones who are no longer with us.

I talked to our family group about the importance of intergenerational interaction. Somehow, we have allowed ourselves to build walls which prevent us from joining forces for a greater good. Just as society as a whole uses race, gender, ethnicity, size, height, (you name it!) to keep us divided, I think the generations have done pretty much the same thing. Younger people seem to disregard older people based on the assumption that they don't know or understand their experiences. Likewise, older people can get so caught up in hair and fashion styles,or differences in our music choices, that we fail to notice all of the wonderful things that youth has to offer.
If we are to accomplish great things, we must remember that we all need each other.

Legacy speaks to our past, and destiny is about our future. What if our purpose is somehow intertwined in the two entities? Just suppose that you need what I bring from our past to get you to your future. Is it possible that I could allow you to stand on my shoulders to reach your goals and dreams? Our foreparents never dreamed that the day would come when a woman and an African-American would run for president of the United States of America. And yet, who knows? Maybe they did see that as a possibility! They probably had big-g-g-g dreams for their descendants. Perhaps they prayed that God will bless their children, and their children's children to acheive more than they could ask or dream! Could it be that they are cheering us on, wishing us all the best? Wouldn't it be a shame for any of us to fail to complete our God-given assignments merely because we failed to value the giftings of others?

Let me challenge you today to put aside your prejudices and judgemental attitudes. Let's embrace the differences and look beyond those petty opinions about who we are. Essentially, we're actually all created by God for specific purposes, and we're wasting valuable time fighting over dreadlocks and old school music. God is depending on us to get a job done!

If you haven't inquired of Him, ask him to reveal your purpose. Then, vigorously go after it, and do not neglect to use the generational resources available to you. You just might be surprised to find hidden treasures in the folks that you've overlooked.

Our Legacy Tour is underway; a group of people of all ages presenting music and words of wisdom from Mama E. You're sure to enjoy it!

If you want us to come to your city, or want more information, just send me a note.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's officially spring

It's been a few weeks since I talked to everybody, and today is as good a day as any to rectify that. We've been extremely busy with the book signing (which, by the way, was a huge success), the promotion tour, speaking engagements, and planning our next event.

We're hosting a brunch on May 31st, which will be a means of organizing other MOMs to unite for one common goal-to be there for our children. "Ask Mama E" is the coaching division of In Him Ministries, organized solely to address the issues and concerns of the 18-35 year old population. I recognize that life throws some difficult blows sometimes, and we all need someone to talk to. It occured to me that there are lots of women who share my passion. We want to help you get through some of the murky waters of life.

It is with this in mind, that women from around the city (and eventually, the world) will organize and mobilize our forces so that we can be effective in reaching our children's generation.

Having said this, let me just speak to you today about making wise choices. I remember some things that I've done in my past, which, in retrospect, were not so smart. Quite frankly, some of them were just plain "dumb". All of us have done it, even though we don't always admit it. So let me speak for parents who might not tell you; part of the experience of growing up is making poor choices.

However, at some point we must recognize that we're making these poor choices, and then- stop. It's really that simple: make the decision to think about the decision that you're making. Ask yourself,"What is the consequence of this decision?" If you conclude that you don't want to live with the consequence, then don't do it!

Examples of things that I want you to think about, would be: Who are the People that you spend your time with; How much of yourself do you give to these people; Do your associates have your best interest at heart, or are they unequally benefitting from the friendship?; Do you fall in and out of love?; Are you afraid to be alone?; What is it about yourself that you don't like and why?

Do you make good money decisions? What's your credit report look like? Do you have more CD's (compact disc)in your car, than CD's (certificates of deposit)in the bank?

Do you make and keep regular appointments with your physician? Do you take care of your body, by eating properly and resting appropriately?

I could go on and on - after all, I'm a mom, and that's what we do. :-)
But I'm not just talking because I have nothing better to do; It is my hope that I will cause to think about real life. You're getting older by the day, and these things don't go away. You ultimately will have to live with the decisions you make today.

Give it some thought, and we'll talk again soon.

By the way, if you haven't gotten the book, I really recommend it. It's real easy reading, no super philosophical, super deep stuff- just everyday talk from a mom who cares.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Book Signing and Spoken Word Concert

Well, everybody! It's almost time, and the excitement is building!


The concert and book release is just around the corner. We've got music, (both vocal and instrumental), by some of the finest. And of course, poetry and the best of Mama E'isms. You absolutely do not want to miss it. Where else can you get good company, entertainment and words of wisdom from Mom?

Get your tickets early. And help Mama E get the word out by way of: email, on your "my space" page, your YouTube, your FacePage, to all your friends, and their friends (wherever they are).

You can even notify your enemies; they'll be easier to get along with, after this experience. LOL!!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Introduction to new book "To All My Kids, Love Mama E"

Somehow over the past several years I have formed a special bond with the people of my children’s generation. It’s rather strange and even surprising that these individuals feel comfortable sharing with me - sometimes, things that are very serious in nature, and often just to laugh about the mundane and routine. Now that my children are adults, and I have grandchildren, I recognize that things are not as they were when I was in the spring and summer of life.

I believe that life is a sequence of stages, much like the seasons. Spring would be young adults who have perhaps finished high school, able to partake of adult experiences without, in many cases, having to pay full price. (Often, this age group is still at home, so they don’t have all of the expenses of adulthood). Summer would be those folks who are generally married and paying rent or mortgages; there perhaps are a couple of children; and they have all of the responsibilities that go with this stage.

Then there is autumn or fall. We’ve gotten past the childrearing years; some call it empty-nesters or baby boomers. But we’ve learned from our mistakes (hopefully), and life has mellowed. We tend to know who we are, what we want, and where we’re going. (You’ll notice that I referred to “we” in this section, because this is the season in which I find myself, and quite frankly, loving every minute of it.)

Lastly, there’s winter. This is the precious season of aged mothers and fathers, whose children are now grandparents. Often they are honored at family reunions and revered as forerunners and elders in the family. This is, at least, how it’s supposed to be.

As I watch the culture evolve, and I see so many people younger than myself making life choices which are detrimental, not only to themselves, but to society at large, I was moved to do something! Granted, I didn’t know what I could or should do; but I knew I had to do something. There is a verse in the bible, found in Titus 2:4 that gave me the answer. It admonishes older women to teach the younger women, and I could either wait for them to come to me, or I could go to them.

This book is one attempt to fulfill this mandate. I hope to save the X, Y, and Z generations’ time, energy, and heartaches by sharing some of what I’ve learned along my journey. There will be a series of books that will offer tidbits of motherly wisdom about various subjects. It is my prayer that something I will share will be of benefit as you attempt to navigate through life.


I love you all,

Mama E.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Happy Valentine Day

Hi everybody, it's Mama E.

Hope you're having a great day. If you're in the Jacksonville, Florida area, and have access to Comcast Cable TV, I host a local show which is aired every Sunday morning at 10:00 AM. I invite you to tune in.

As we approach Valentine's Day, let's talk today about Love. Often our idea of what love is comes from what Celebrities say or do. Sometimes, we get opinions of the definition of love from our friends and associates, (who probably don't know anymore than you). But I suggest that we look at the original lover, in order to find out what love is. The originator of love is God;the bible actually says that He IS love.

When we see people jumping in and out of relationships, or having intimate associations with multiple people, it is apparent that what we demonstrate is not love. It might be fear of being alone. Maybe, it's mere sexual pleasure, or maybe we boost our egos by having other people infatuated with us. Whatever the reason, it's not love.

Love is sacrificial! I know! This is not what you want to hear, but that's what God did for us, and if we're to expect the real, long-lasting benefits of love, it starts with giving up your wants/needs to meet the wants/needs of another.

Love is also commitment. It means that I'm not taking the easy way out. I'm not going to change my mind because a better offer comes along. Note this: there will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer, in better shape, etc. If you are swayed by these exterior, superficial attributes, you will live your life totally unfulfilled because you will always be looking for someone or something else. That's instability!

Love is a decision. It is not "falling in love". What is that? To fall- sounds like you tripped over something. :-)When you make a decision to do something, it didn't just happen. For instance, if you made a decision to go to work today, you were not surprised that you were seated at your desk.You set the clock when you went to be, you got out of bed, got dressed, got in the car, etc. You did all that was neccesary to get there. That's what happens when a decision has been made.Do you get my point? Decide to love him/her. Then do everything neccesary to live up to the decision.

Lastly, flowers are nice, going out to dinner is great, and diamonds are a girl's best friend LOL..But may I suggest that you do more than give her/him a card or a gift? Get information! What do I mean? Learn what it takes to have a good relationship: invest in books, tapes, seminars, or classes. Many times we fail because we don't have the skills to succeed. God says that "My people perish for lack of knowledge". Resources are all around you.

Promise me that you'll take advantage of them, and I promise you that it will make all the difference.Talk to you next time,Mama EB
February 8, 2008 9:43 AM

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Encouragement from Mama E

I thought that today, as sort of a foundation for this blog, I want to say thank you to the thousands of you who never make the news. You go about your day, going to work, taking care of kids (or sharing in the needs of your family), & receiving no recognition for the good things that you do. It perhaps appears that it goes unnoticed; there are days when you feel like your life is boring, mundane, and of little consequence. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It is vital that you understand how much the world needs and appreciates what you do, and I just wanted to tell you so! So to my kids, and all of you who have adopted me as your substitute Mom, you're doing a great job, and we're all better because of you.


Love,
Mama E

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Who Is Mama E?

Mama E is a personal coach, for 18-35 year old individuals, who can help you take a real look at your relationships and other life issues. Are you getting the results you want from the choices which you're making? Do you need someone that you can talk to? (That is, with the goal being to find a solution!) Many times, we want to merely talk about the problem, but make no steps toward solving the problem.

The other mistake that is often made is this: seeking guidance from contemporaries or peers. If one only gets the perspectives of persons with the same level of experience or value systems as himself, it it likely that the conclusion will be slanted or one-sided.Mama E brings a different dimension to life's challenges, because she has lived it. Her expertise is a combination of formal training (BA degree in Sociology), practical background (trainer, teacher, writer & lecturer), and good, old-fashioned mother-wit.

Married for over 30 years, the mother of three adult children, and proud grandmother of three, Mama E brings an uncanny ability to convey an intuitive and common sense approach to life and relationships.We will explore together some of the "tough stuff" that life throws at you. So stay tuned for relevant and interesting dialogue with MAMA E.